"Hello, Pete Sessions office", said a young man on the other end of the phone.The calls he made to the Democratic Congress critters were equally hilarious...
"Hi, my name's Brendan Skwire," I began. "And first of all, I have to tell you that I am about the most left-wing Democrat you could ever meet. If it was up to me, it would be abortion on demand, healthcare for everyone, and out of Iraq yesterday. Pete Sessions and I agree on absolutely nothing, and if we had a few beers together, we'd probably come to blows. So I just wanted to get that out there. I loathe the Republican Party and everything it stands for. No offense, just giving you an idea of where I'm coming from."
"And none taken," the guy said graciously. "So. What's up?"
"Well, as much as I despise the GOP, there is one thing I hate more: the liars and hacks that make up the Democratic Party leadership. I mean, my GOD: they have broken just about every single promise they made to people like me who voted for them in 2006. They took impeachment off the table, they keep sending you guys blank checks for war in Iraq, they let you get away with blocking all sorts of bills... I mean, just look at the Senate! They're about to confirm Mukasey as Attorney General, a guy who won't enforce Congressional subpoenas and believes George Bush is above the law. Later this week, they're probably going to legalize wiretapping our phones. It's absolutely disgraceful what the Democratic leadership has done. They're just as bad as you guys!
"And so while I never EVER thought I would say this, please pass a message to Pete Sessions for me: tell him I extend my heartiest congratulations for making Steny Hoyer, a douchebag of the highest order, look even more like the idiot fool he is. And on the House floor! Fantastic!! Tell Mr. Sessions I applaud his participation in this hilarious prank, which exposed my party's leadership for the clowns and cowards they are.
"Again, I don't support any of your boss's policies, but credit where credit is due. That was a job well done. Well-played, sir! I haven't laughed that hard in months!"
"Will do sir," the guy said chuckling. "I'm sure Congressman Sessions will be delighted to hear your message!"
Phone Conversations Overheard on a Blog
Brendan over at the Booman Tribune made a few phone calls to Congress after watching the spectacle of the IMPEACHMENT VOTE unfold on the floor of the house: